Daddy's Guest Column

I have been asked to write a guest piece on the Baby Brenner blog. Quite frankly, I am a bit nervous as Kelly's done a fantastic job chronicling her pregnancy experience and she's a tough act to follow. I am impressed (although not surprised) by her creativity and writing. She doesn't know yet, but I am going to ask her to write some of my legal briefs.

Before I begin, I want to acknowledge Kelly's success so far with the pregnancy. For those of you who don't know, Kelly continues to teach four aerobic/kickboxing classes a week. She's never sick, never complains about the loss of her six-pack abs or that her clothes don't fit. She's made many sacrifices, the most notable being the dreaded 1 tablespoon of fish oil every night. I know how much Kelly hates it, but it's good for the baby's brain development and everyone knows that Jake's going to need all the help he can get to compensate for his dad's mental deficiencies. We often joke that if Jake gets his dad's good looks and his mom's brain, he'll be set.

Last Thursday we attended our first "birthing class." Suffice it to say, I would be upset if our insurance didn't cover the cost of this class. So far, the class has been a complete waste, except for the fact that it's located next door to a good Mexican restaurant. The "teacher" is a former nurse who supposedly hurt her back several years ago while on the job and now is relegated to teaching birthing classes to would-be parents less than half her age. She's definitely high on something because it takes her 3x longer to complete her sentences than a normal person. I know Kelly doesn't like her either as Kelly hates anyone who admonishes her not to exercise or eat Sushi while pregnant. We have three more classes left, hopefully they will get more interesting.

I am very proud of Kelly. She's been the ideal pregnant wife, especially since she continues to fit into her lingerie. Until next time... -Marshall